I had a meeting with a client yesterday and after I had listened to her for a while I commented that I felt she was shortchanging her life, living it from the cheap seats. “Wow” she said “what a great metaphor, that is exactly how I feel”! I think we all deserve those big cushy velvet reclining seats up front but they don’t come easy. They are more costly and the price is this; your willingness to get out of your own way and do the work. I have personally had to slay this dragon many times in my own life. Kicking and screaming I went, but the reward was worth all the discomfort and harsh realities. We need to get right with whatever is wrong.
I saw a staggering statistic the other day. Depression in women had doubled between 2000 and 2010. Process that for a moment. Now I do not profess to be an expert on depression and I am aware they there are varying degrees of depression as well. I do feel however based on my own experience with it that all of us go through times of despair. Women are programed to be stoic. The nurturing mothers, the dutiful spouses and partners, and the fixers of all things. We carry that flag proudly but sometimes we just need to be ok with not being ok. We carry around baggage from our past and let it define our present and determine our future. We shortchange ourselves, and put everyone before ourselves.
What has worked for me and what I pass on to others is self awareness and accountability. Look at your situation and if it is not working for you and creating a positive space in your life, then it needs to change. Don’t fear this change, be ok with admitting it, sharing it and getting uncomfortable around it. That is when the change you desire will manifest. Change evolves out of discomfort. Invest in the support of a good therapist or coach. Allow those who can help you the privilege of doing so. The benefits that show up as a result of working on yourself are huge.
As I left my client yesterday I told her that I welcomed the opportunity to work with her and be an ally for change in her corner. “You just need a little dusting off and before you know it, you will have a front row seat, a cushy velvet seat to your own life”.